Inspiration Through: Hurt

During the last year of my 20s, I easily lived my best and worst life simultaneously. Career wise, I was moving on up, getting more placements, and getting recognition in areas that I thought God had forgotten about me in. My personal life, however, was a totally different story. Though I tried to force myself to pretend I was happy, I was somewhat miserable. I had gotten so used to faking it with my feelings that it just started to feel normal. In all honesty, I know my cousin Corey had to have been tired of hearing me come up with excuses as to why I was letting certain things happen in my life that absolutely shouldn't have even existed.

It wasn't until God did something serious to get my attention that I realized how much I had to change my life in order for Him to change it, too.

I've often told others that "you're not really tired until you make a change," but I couldn't find the strength in myself to make my own changes. I was reminded toward the end of that year, however, that sometimes, — when all of God's methods to get your attention aren't working — He'll do something traumatic to give you no other choice but to get your focus back on Him. Of course, I knew this from previous situations that have happened in my life, but if you don't get the lesson the first time, He'll keep bringing the situation back around until you do. The form will be different, but the purpose will be the same.

I remember hurting so bad at times last year that I just didn't know what to do. My anxiety was through the roof, my depression kept seeping back in, and even with prayer, I just felt like nothing was going to ever get me back on track. I felt hopeless. It was like I was in a never-ending fight to gain control of my life and get away from the people who weren't really there to help me grow. And though it sounds easy to do, it never really is as easy as we say it is.

Hurting through those moments, however, helped me to see just how much I needed to love myself and seek true joy.

We've always heard people say that we should fake it until we make it, but if the option to have it for real as the authentic you is there, why should faking it even be your go-to? What I went through last year, as hurtful, confusing, and disappointing as it was, was nothing but a blessing. I've always said that I don't believe in bad things happening. They may be unfortunate or untimely, but since all things work together for the greater good of God (and man), nothing bad can ever really happen in my eyes. It wasn't until I really started believing that though (with all of my heart), that I started to understand that hurt — even in its most devastating form — is nothing but a way for God to get you closer to accomplishing His will and purpose in your life. It's just up to you to decide whether or not you control the hurt or if it controls you. For me, I decided that I wasn't going to live in it. I was going to take every thing that I used to see as bad and make it into a way to glorify God through it all. It's not easy sometimes to give everything — including your hurt — over to God, but once you do, you'll realize that you can and you will make it through those painful times.

Realizing that genuine joy was much better than pretend happiness has helped me to give things over to God quicker and easier than before. I'm hoping that if you're not there yet, you'll get there, too. Joy, unlike happiness, keeps me reminded that even in my worst hours, things are still going good and there's even better to come.

My ask: For this week's challenge, I hope that you become honest with yourself about your hurt. No, it's not easy, but once you do, you'll be able to address exactly where you need to heal. How long have you been holding on to this hurt? Are you blaming God for it? Do you believe that God can still work through you in your broken moments? Stop faking it until you make it. You can have the positive, loving, and good life that you've always dreamed of. It's literally just one decision away.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” — Revelation 21:4

Until next week!

With Creative (and Authentic) Thoughts,

-Kp