When I was a kid, I was told that bad habits — once you develop them — are hard to break. My mom tried her hardest to make me stop biting my nails, cracking my back and knuckles, sitting too close to the TV, and picking the skin around fingers — just to name a few. Some of those habits, she was able to break before I got used to them. Others, however — like picking the skin around my fingers (a way to cope with my anxiety) — weren't that easy to get away from me.
Though those habits weren't seriously crippling, as I got older, I developed habits that were.
Everyone develops different habits. Whether they're good or bad, when or how you develop them is never exactly the same as the next person. Likewise, what may be a bad habit for me, doesn't necessarily mean it'll be the same level of "bad" for you. And while my bad habits didn't include drinking, smoking, or partying uncontrollably, they did involve self-sabotaging, negative thinking, and poor communication skills. Now of course, no one likes to think of these as bad habits. Instead, we like to pass them off as saying "that's just how I am." Everything that we "are," however, develops from somewhere and not everything comes from a good place.
With that being known, I can honestly admit to sabotaging my own happiness. Mainly because I had become so used to chaos and pain that when something good would happen, I would think of it as "too good to be true." Then, because I created this scenario in my mind about how the situation was going to fail, once it did fail, I would convince myself that I knew this was going to happen anyway. In reality though, it only failed because my bad habits made it fail. And that is honestly one of the hardest "bad habits" to break.
Just because habits are hard to break, it doesn't mean that you have to hold on to them.
When you're a kid, your parents rarely explain to you why they do things. Their reasoning is always "because I said so" or "because I'm your parent, that's why." What I've learned through time though, is that actions without explanation or proper communication can become detrimental to your growth and keep you in a state of habitual stagnancy. And in turn, become bad habits that you adopt because of familiarity.
Up until recently, I've done things exactly how I've always done them. I've run away from my problems (which is a bad habit), kept quiet instead of communicate (another bad habit), and overthink every situation that felt good because years of normalized pain made me feel like those things weren't supposed to happen to me (the worst habit of them all). Coming into 30, however, I promised myself that I wasn't going to keep hold of the bad habits that tormented me throughout my years. Not solely because I was tired of repeating the same lessons in life, but because according to Ephesians 4:27 you should "give no opportunity to the devil." Your bad habits — as small as they may initially seem — are just that. Even more, 1 Corinthians 15:33 tells us "Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”" and that includes your bad habits.
If not addressed, bad habits can eat away at all things good about you.
Though I like to think that I'm a "good" person, my bad habits brought out the worst in me. They made me become bitter, angry, and downright miserable. I found myself complaining about things that I should have been celebrating and holding on to pain that I should have healed from years ago.
What I decided though was that I wanted to let those bad habits go. I wanted to replace them with all the things that God said we're supposed to have: an abundant life, positive thinking, love, care, faith, and whatever is good. Those are the things that we are supposed to fill our lives with and dwell on; not the habits that we've developed that could essentially tear us down. We have to stop passing the negative things in our lives off as them just being apart of us because that's not how God made us nor how He wants us to be. And you know what? You don't have to be either. You can choose to eliminate those bad habits from your life. It may take a little time to get through them or even admit to having them, but once you do, you'll feel like you're closer to getting where God needs you to be.
My ask: Take the time this week to reflect on the things that have developed into bad habits in your life. Have you even noticed them? What have you done to end your bad habits? Starting with the least threatening one and going to the largest, try making a list of your bad habits and seeing which ones you can tackle first. Do you have negative thinking on the list? For every negative thought, say something positive about yourself. Poor communication on there, too? Start small and journal out your feelings before verbalizing them. Whatever your bad habit is, I pray you find comfort in knowing that God has something good and fulfilling for you to replace that with.
"To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." — Ephesians 4:22-24
With Creative (and Good) Thoughts,
-Kp