When I took this picture five years ago, I had just transitioned from Orlando to Atlanta. I was so excited, but scared at the exact same time. I had no idea what God was doing in my life nor why He chose that moment to change just about everything in my life. The only thing I knew was that I was finally happy and even though I was young in my faith, I was expecting something great to happen.
What I wasn't expecting, however, was the struggle that I would go through and the amount of faith God needed me to have in order to see this journey through.
To be honest, I had false perceptions about what moving to Atlanta would be like for me. Looking back, I was big headed, prideful and had a bit of an ego when making it up here. Back then, I thought I was having massive faith, but after growing in God and realizing what that truly means, I can admit to it being the total opposite. I wanted everything to fall in my lap; better yet, I expected it to. I felt that since I was a fresh graduate of a prestigious creative school and I already had what I thought was sufficient experience, nothing could hold me back. And while expecting great things to happen isn't at all bad, expecting them on your terms is.
Five years ago, I walked in my own expectancy.
I expected things to happen on my terms and didn't think twice about what God needed to accomplish through me or even what He expected of me. Just like you expect God to do amazing things (and you should because He will), He expects you to hold up your end of the bargain, too. And no matter who you are, that simply means He expects you to walk in your purpose according to His will.
Truthfully, all of those moments of feeling let down by God after I moved were caused by my having selfish expectations. Yes, we are supposed to expect God to do incredibly abundant things in our lives, but we have to remember that we can't expect good things to come with a selfish and one-sided heart. God knows when our desires and expectancies aren't pure and although I wanted things to happen to help myself grow, I'm at the point in my faith walk that I can admit to saying that I wasn't expecting good things to happen because I wanted to glorify God. My expectations for God to do something amazing existed because I wanted to glorify me.
Having pure expectations isn't always easy and living in expectancy isn't either. When you become confident in your walk and in God though, that will change.
I'd love to tell you that I've lived in Godly expectancy every day of every year, but of course, I haven't. I've expected things to happen how I've wanted and even lied to myself about why I wanted things to happen the way I did. I've also lost my sense of expectancy at times because I felt as if I wasn't good enough for God to do amazing things for me. It's not good, but we're all human and sometimes our fleshly ways definitely get the best of us.
It wasn't until I realized that expectancy wasn't just about expecting God to give me what I want, but more so expecting God to do His thing that I was able to see the things I prayed for begin to unfold. Expectancy is knowing that God will help us through our dark moments, expecting that there is always a way out of the wilderness, and expecting that God can and will give you the desires of your pure heart. Living in expectancy isn't really about getting what you want any and all the time; it's about knowing that all things — even if they aren't what you expected at the moment — work together for the greater good and will produce good fruit.
My ask: This week I ask you to take a look at your expectations. Are they from selfish creations? Are you even expecting God to do great and abundant things in your life? Do your expectations match up with your purpose? Ask yourself if what you're expecting God to do for you is solely for your own gain or is it because you truly want the outcome to be a way for you to glorify Him.
"And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him." — 1 John 5:14-15
Until next time!
With Creative (and Expecting) Thoughts,
-Kp