When I was younger, my mom would always tell me that in order for me to get where I truly wanted to be, I'd have to be OK with not really having friends. Back then, I thought she was being dramatic and remember thinking "I don't know what she's talking about. I have friends and they're always going to be around." (Ha! If only my young "know-it-all" self can see where I am now.) When she'd see that I would just sort of brush off what she was saying (as most kids usually do), she would always respond back by saying, "I've been your age, you haven't been mine." And now that I'm older, I totally see what she meant — with more than I probably care to admit.
Separation from those that are close to you usually happens by surprise. No matter how it happens, however, it isn't a pleasant feeling.
Growing in different directions from those that were once close to you can make you feel very alienated. Whether you have a big fall out with the person or whether it happens by surprise, dealing with the loss of a once close friendship is not all that easy. And, when I relocated from my hometown back in 2013, I learned firsthand how separation can prove that some friendships aren't meant to last a lifetime.
Some of my closest friendships dissolved once I moved and I couldn't understand why. These were the same people that went out with me every time there was a party, spent money with me whenever we all had it, and some of which I had shared some of my deepest secrets with. Since there wasn't really a "fall out," I couldn't understand why God was separating me from everyone — and everything — I knew and thought I needed.
What I didn't realize, however, was that God needed to separate me in order to elevate me.
Looking back on those years when I felt lonely and somewhat abandoned from those that I had constantly been there for, I now know that God didn't "take" those friends away from me to hurt me. Although it was hard to understand at the time and I felt like I didn't deserve to go through what I was going through, that moment of separation revealed to me who was really there because God called our friendships to be and who was only there because of what I could offer when we were "close." Surprisingly, the people that I least expected to have been the ones that have poured into me over time, have let me pour into them, and — despite how long we go without talking — the ones I'm still close with now.
Had it not been for God providing that space in between me and my "friends" when He did, I would still be stuck in a stagnant state. I would still be engaging in the things that I needed to get away from, talking about things that will never serve me, and not living up to the potential that I needed to. Not to say that it's anyone's fault other than my own, but sometimes God's purpose for separating us is to help us realize that our focus has to primarily be on Him. Likewise, it helps us to see things from a different perspective. And, you'll start to see that some of the things (or people) you thought were good for you are just the opposite.
My ask: If you've been feeling as if God has separated you from something or someone, find solace in knowing that God's reasoning is never to hurt you. Though it may feel painful at this time, everything — regardless if we see it at first — works together for the greater good. Remind yourself that a short separation from things can make you see where you need to improve at in your life and can remind you of the bigger picture. Your true purpose and your potential can only be found when God is first and being purged from the things that no longer serve you can help you get there. Remind yourself that separation by God is not a form of punishment; it's more of a preparation for the upcoming elevation.
"You have been set apart as holy to the LORD your God, and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure." — Deuteronomy 14:2
Until next week!
With Creative (and Elevating) Thoughts,
-Kp